be herself.self love.and alot of it.

few years ago, i remember that my dad told me that was the day of Arafah.and he told me with full of expression.and..i half-heartedly understand with some argument within me.why my dad was soo emotional with the Arafah Day. fastfoward,i now understand the feeling,ecspecially after i done my first Umrah. like i really follow Tabung Haji facebook for the updates.touchy feeling everytime i saw their haji pictures. very surreal.my eyes gone teary when the crane toppled. do you watched the video of the 2 kids who were playing around their mother and died in a blink of an eyes because of the crane crash onto them? Inalillah.my heart sunk.they are really kids from heaven.stay there peacefully babies! and today is the Wukuf Day which is happen at Arafah, near Jabal Rahmah.i went there last time, with maybe 1000 of people. but today itself, the Arafah will hold about 2 million of people, its like the vast sea in human version!!pray for their safety . to All of the pilgrims, stay stronger,...

i got this one imaginary blog in mind actually..like everytime i was alone or driving or just day dreaming, i would have visualising i am writting and posting an entry. and never jotted down.finally when im about to write something i just lost my bloody ideas.i.hate.that. So 2 more sleeps and we are about to celebrate raya. its not that we doesnt welcome Ramadhan, but the peak of everything is raya.i found a posting on facebook stated that Ramadhan-month itself was a bit sad and envy of Syawal, because for the whole month of fasting people are talking and preparing for Syawal. is that the wise thinking or feeling? for me, Ramadhan Al Mubarak is a holy of the holy month.which is verrrryyyy much pahala given even for a sen of give away.it is a month where people go extra miles in doing deeds. but not to forget,this month also, we are extra tested.extra patience,extra courages extra in positivity are much needed. Like me and my little family.we got very big tests.i cringe and cr...

I just can't sleep now because after the iftar im too itchy to have a cup of coffee.there you goes,thinking of jumping here n there. My body can' t tolerate with much caffein.a sip or two is fine.but tonight almost a cup,which is becos of the socializing time.chatting n coffee goes very well. So hows life with a toddler now? Fine.perfectly fine. He ran everywhere he likes.mummy is sooo busy chasing him.the greatest part of meddling with toddler is, you could stay fit,or at least try to act ones.and by the time he falls asleep you ruin your energy too. Toddler.they have their OWN opinion.whether you like it or not,you have to deal with it.he might wanting to hold the cup by himself (which is finally will go on the floor) but u refuse to let him.they want to feed by himself,take longer time in bathroom and the list go on.this phase shall pass.i told myself. Just layan himmmm.at the end of the day,u will just regret because u were shouting n yelling at the very ...

i am in my exact 30s now.and i would like to tell myself on my 20's on what should be done. or putting in a to-do list. 1) Never take loan for study purpose. or if desperate enough,just take the fees part.and then work on your daily expenses.Life as a student is hard.Just swallow the bullet. 2) after you start working, go to holiday, impromptu.as many as you can and of course,could afford. 3) Save money even 50 permonth.i knew this sound ridicolous to safe bucks on first year of celebrating life and independent,but sooner u'll thanked my advice. 4)take life insurance/medical. this is the time when all the insurance agent will crawl up to you.plus this is the time which you'll pay lower as they calculated based on age.the more you aged the more its cost you. 5)buy cheap cars on cash.i know many of us have dream car.buy buying it on cash u could saved even more money.and you safe yourself from suffer every month because of the installment. till then ...

erkkk..i am not pregnant again.i want to but sooo many things in my mind now..so here just a thought . i want another baby and obviously, a girl to complete.but thinking of it make me feeling butterfly all over my stomach.when i went into labor room for the first time, i was scared. scared becos not knowing what will happen to me. meaning i knew the process and procedures, but i never meet them before. So hello and smile for the first time. but, thinking of going the same procedures again, frightened me lots. yes i am afraid of the things i already knew.just a flash of the needle,nurses,doctors,labor room make me cringe in the corner.make me erase my thought of having a second baby. one of my friends said there is no right or wrong time.when it happen, it happen.isn't it? so why worry in the first place?  -____- i have no ultimate motive of writing today.just my 2 cen.

Many things came up lately. my son constantly sick n require extra tlc and workload has been mountain,unfortunately i cant neglect neither nor. So less me time.less our time spend out together.everything become so rigid.i hv to go back on time to see n monitor my son n in the same time report has been well-prepared for the next morning meeting/approval. And lately i hv been driving with guilty every morning.leaving my sick son who is indeed need his mother,is totally heartbroken,frustrated and less motivated.i began to feel my so called career is no longer meaningful.whatever i do become so less thoughtful.i just want my son to be healthy and happy again. I am one sad mother.

Alhamdulillah...my baby is no longer a baby.he's turning one!!! a yearrrrr. a year has filled up with soo much patient, joyous, tears,excitement and worried plus two times trip to emergency becos of the noob parent but above all i feel grateful that my hubby and i manage to overcome everything that comes our way. a year has passed by.once a helpess baby, now a very active-cannot-sit-for-a-while toddler. To my son, Happy first birthday sayang.in life there are ups and downs.there are tears and laughter,there are also happiness and sadness. but in every stage, dont forget our Almighty creators, Allah, Ayah and mummy and your family.my Doa and thought always be with you.May you be a successful intelligent businessman as our wish and has all the strength and blessing in your life.no words could describe how much i loveeeee youuuu. Happy first birthday Ali!!!!