be herself.self love.and alot of it.

erkkk..i am not pregnant again.i want to but sooo many things in my mind now..so here just a thought . i want another baby and obviously, a girl to complete.but thinking of it make me feeling butterfly all over my stomach.when i went into labor room for the first time, i was scared. scared becos not knowing what will happen to me. meaning i knew the process and procedures, but i never meet them before. So hello and smile for the first time. but, thinking of going the same procedures again, frightened me lots. yes i am afraid of the things i already knew.just a flash of the needle,nurses,doctors,labor room make me cringe in the corner.make me erase my thought of having a second baby. one of my friends said there is no right or wrong time.when it happen, it happen.isn't it? so why worry in the first place?  -____- i have no ultimate motive of writing today.just my 2 cen.

Many things came up lately. my son constantly sick n require extra tlc and workload has been mountain,unfortunately i cant neglect neither nor. So less me time.less our time spend out together.everything become so rigid.i hv to go back on time to see n monitor my son n in the same time report has been well-prepared for the next morning meeting/approval. And lately i hv been driving with guilty every morning.leaving my sick son who is indeed need his mother,is totally heartbroken,frustrated and less motivated.i began to feel my so called career is no longer meaningful.whatever i do become so less thoughtful.i just want my son to be healthy and happy again. I am one sad mother.

Alhamdulillah...my baby is no longer a baby.he's turning one!!! a yearrrrr. a year has filled up with soo much patient, joyous, tears,excitement and worried plus two times trip to emergency becos of the noob parent but above all i feel grateful that my hubby and i manage to overcome everything that comes our way. a year has passed by.once a helpess baby, now a very active-cannot-sit-for-a-while toddler. To my son, Happy first birthday sayang.in life there are ups and downs.there are tears and laughter,there are also happiness and sadness. but in every stage, dont forget our Almighty creators, Allah, Ayah and mummy and your family.my Doa and thought always be with you.May you be a successful intelligent businessman as our wish and has all the strength and blessing in your life.no words could describe how much i loveeeee youuuu. Happy first birthday Ali!!!!

Happy Belated Birthday to meeeeee!!i was late in posting birthday entry, i know.but what can i do i was awayyyyyy doing this: no no no.don't rub your eyes yet. i was performing my umrah for the first time and i don't have words to describe it.everything was so mesmerizing.could consider as brithday present also.alhamdulillah. we went there altogether with Baby D.yeah sure there were bumpy but its alright as long as i have my loves one around.i am happy bunny. so, friends keep on wonder how does it feel to perform umrah while holding your 10kilos baby and his whatnot.to be honest about that,i gained muscle from that, tired and take alooootttt of patient.i mean like triple alot. if you asked me,would you bring your baby along my answer will be yes and no!! yes simply becos i wanted to included all the family members into the trip.so that i wouldnt feel mising and longing (read : clingy mother here).i wanted him to experience something different. ...

New Year doesnt come easy this time, i believe urs too rite.and the whole Malaysian. Mine..i was having a whole-hectic-and-exciting year.owhhhh i dont have to mention rite.hehe. So for the rest of the Year 2015 i would like to pray to be healthy, happy and all loved!!!!!!i want to be fit again. before take off i would like to share this anecdote.hoping we will be a more matured , better person in the future. Suatu malam seekor ular menyelit masuk ke dalam gudang kayu. Secara tak sengaja, ia menyusur di atas gergaji. Tajamnya mata gergaji itu menyebabkan perut ular terluka. Ular beranggapan gergaji itu menyerangnya. Ia pun membalasnya dengan mematuk gergaji itu berkali-kali, serangan tersebut menyebabkan luka parah di bahagian mulutnya. Marah dan sakit yang amat sangat, ular itu berusaha mengerahkan kemampuan terakhirnya untuk mengalahkan ‘musuh’ tersebut. Ia pun membelit gergaji itu sekuat tenaga. Belitan tersebut menyebabkan lukanya teramat parah dan akhirny...

we came to a stage where D is constantly needed extra attention.apart from being his dedicated dietitian, i also came along to rescue him from cold and fever, as a medical officer -___-" this medical officer has no big paycheck. it is like D has constantly being sick after changing to new daycare,or i am tested for being a good mom or no -_____- i know it is my wrongdoing as i overlook things.really missed to take precaution. here's my fair share of tip that i collect: 1) make sure D's Nostril got shot by the sterimar every day - so that it will stay clear.minimize the culprit which will lead to cold and flu. From F side, they are sinus history.so this doesnt do any good to D.as a precaution i should take above step. 2) Provide D with alot of zinc,iron and vitamin c(fruits.i tot i feed him enough??) 3) do you ever heard the story of Garlic Farmer's Family? Let me tell you. There was a family of garlic farmer living in a rural. one season, virus attacked...

Finally i could blog but through my mobile phone.. So its time for not so little D milestone. 1. Currently is 9 month.weighted 10.2 kilos.height is 77cm.yes such big boy. 2. He has passed his reverse, crawling and sitting stage.he is now cruisingggg!!gulppp. 3. He is constantly teething.D has 6 tooth. 4. Eating well - all still mashed food. 5. Can copy whenever F or me making "clapping lips" hehe. 6. Hate to be alone.dislike strangers. 7. The cute part is,he will make an "ah?" Sound whenever he feel courious.we took it as asking hehe 8.i have this feeling that he is now experiencing growth spurt.he demands milk every 2 hour in the night. 9. He smiles and reaching for me whenever i pick him from daycare. 10.  His babysitter said he could cope with peer now and could play n laugh together. 11. He took his first neb yesterday which was vvverryyy heartbroken to mummy daddy.