be herself.self love.and alot of it.

I just can't sleep now because after the iftar im too itchy to have a cup of coffee.there you goes,thinking of jumping here n there. My body can' t tolerate with much caffein.a sip or two is fine.but tonight almost a cup,which is becos of the socializing time.chatting n coffee goes very well. So hows life with a toddler now? Fine.perfectly fine. He ran everywhere he likes.mummy is sooo busy chasing him.the greatest part of meddling with toddler is, you could stay fit,or at least try to act ones.and by the time he falls asleep you ruin your energy too. Toddler.they have their OWN opinion.whether you like it or not,you have to deal with it.he might wanting to hold the cup by himself (which is finally will go on the floor) but u refuse to let him.they want to feed by himself,take longer time in bathroom and the list go on.this phase shall pass.i told myself. Just layan himmmm.at the end of the day,u will just regret because u were shouting n yelling at the very ...

erkkk..i am not pregnant again.i want to but sooo many things in my mind now..so here just a thought . i want another baby and obviously, a girl to complete.but thinking of it make me feeling butterfly all over my stomach.when i went into labor room for the first time, i was scared. scared becos not knowing what will happen to me. meaning i knew the process and procedures, but i never meet them before. So hello and smile for the first time. but, thinking of going the same procedures again, frightened me lots. yes i am afraid of the things i already knew.just a flash of the needle,nurses,doctors,labor room make me cringe in the corner.make me erase my thought of having a second baby. one of my friends said there is no right or wrong time.when it happen, it happen.isn't it? so why worry in the first place?  -____- i have no ultimate motive of writing today.just my 2 cen.

Many things came up lately. my son constantly sick n require extra tlc and workload has been mountain,unfortunately i cant neglect neither nor. So less me time.less our time spend out together.everything become so rigid.i hv to go back on time to see n monitor my son n in the same time report has been well-prepared for the next morning meeting/approval. And lately i hv been driving with guilty every morning.leaving my sick son who is indeed need his mother,is totally heartbroken,frustrated and less motivated.i began to feel my so called career is no longer meaningful.whatever i do become so less thoughtful.i just want my son to be healthy and happy again. I am one sad mother.

Happy Belated Birthday to meeeeee!!i was late in posting birthday entry, i know.but what can i do i was awayyyyyy doing this: no no no.don't rub your eyes yet. i was performing my umrah for the first time and i don't have words to describe it.everything was so mesmerizing.could consider as brithday present also.alhamdulillah. we went there altogether with Baby D.yeah sure there were bumpy but its alright as long as i have my loves one around.i am happy bunny. so, friends keep on wonder how does it feel to perform umrah while holding your 10kilos baby and his whatnot.to be honest about that,i gained muscle from that, tired and take alooootttt of patient.i mean like triple alot. if you asked me,would you bring your baby along my answer will be yes and no!! yes simply becos i wanted to included all the family members into the trip.so that i wouldnt feel mising and longing (read : clingy mother here).i wanted him to experience something different. ...

we came to a stage where D is constantly needed extra attention.apart from being his dedicated dietitian, i also came along to rescue him from cold and fever, as a medical officer -___-" this medical officer has no big paycheck. it is like D has constantly being sick after changing to new daycare,or i am tested for being a good mom or no -_____- i know it is my wrongdoing as i overlook things.really missed to take precaution. here's my fair share of tip that i collect: 1) make sure D's Nostril got shot by the sterimar every day - so that it will stay clear.minimize the culprit which will lead to cold and flu. From F side, they are sinus history.so this doesnt do any good to D.as a precaution i should take above step. 2) Provide D with alot of zinc,iron and vitamin c(fruits.i tot i feed him enough??) 3) do you ever heard the story of Garlic Farmer's Family? Let me tell you. There was a family of garlic farmer living in a rural. one season, virus attacked...

Finally i could blog but through my mobile phone.. So its time for not so little D milestone. 1. Currently is 9 month.weighted 10.2 kilos.height is 77cm.yes such big boy. 2. He has passed his reverse, crawling and sitting stage.he is now cruisingggg!!gulppp. 3. He is constantly teething.D has 6 tooth. 4. Eating well - all still mashed food. 5. Can copy whenever F or me making "clapping lips" hehe. 6. Hate to be alone.dislike strangers. 7. The cute part is,he will make an "ah?" Sound whenever he feel courious.we took it as asking hehe 8.i have this feeling that he is now experiencing growth spurt.he demands milk every 2 hour in the night. 9. He smiles and reaching for me whenever i pick him from daycare. 10.  His babysitter said he could cope with peer now and could play n laugh together. 11. He took his first neb yesterday which was vvverryyy heartbroken to mummy daddy.

maafkan saya tetapi ini pendapat peribadi saya yang terluka. Rindu nak menulis entry yang sarat. sebab selalu nye entry ntah hapehape.selalu cube taip di notepad tetapi gagal diabadikan sebab tk sempat habis satu perenggan dah ade kerje kene attend. sebenarnya hati saya masih lagi berbaur kecewa dengan sikap babysitter. selalu memujuk diri Allah kan maha adil.maha mengetahui.mungkin ade hikmahnye.ade tempat yang lebih baik. tetapi hati selalu teruji sebab benda-benda remeh.lalu terus mengaitkan dengan hal babysitter. begini cerita nya.. lepas kelahiran baby D, saya dan suami masih lagi kabur pasal kepentingan babysitter/taska.kami sangka dengan bertanya SEORANG DUA masalah kami selesai..TARAAA saya rasa telah bertanya hampir separuh daya saya hilang. kami mencari sehinggakan Baby D terpakse ditransportkan semula ke Ipoh.sampai la kami jumpa babysitter yang sekarang ni,mari kenali dengan nama M.saya telah meletakkan iklan di majalah.com dan beberapa orang telah ...

i couldn't swallow my lunch just now.my heart almost stop the beat.i swear i dunno what were the hell my allies were gossiping.concentrating was very hard. my babysitter just texted me informing she will moves to Penang. Dang!! i am dead meat.again.

i don't have any idea what its like to be when you have your job(and u wish to keep it) and in the same time you have to handle a family too. especially with a small creatures known as baby. they are very demanding indeed.however its your job to fulfill their need.oh and btw their smile and smell makes u so melted and fall in love over and over again.no matter how they acted before. after a month of handling him by our self, i discover many things have to be revamped.our chores,our travelling time, our tv time.. (i think must be everything right?) but up until this time i like everything. and i love the most that i have a baby ( and a husband to whine hehe ). an indescribable feeling.when you are lazily wake up in the morning, but when you popped your head to the baby cot, he's already wake up, with a smile and a carry-me-hand. baby smile alot in the morning aren't they? and since our little D has started solid, mummy has to go extra hour and thinking on he...

Our bundle of joy is in town now,don’t  you know?me is extremely happpppyyy..despite being extra mile and exhausted, am a  happy mother again.hence the restriction on posting entry hehe. Daniyel is now 5 month and 2 week. What a journey we have been through honey munchkin. You taught us soooo manyyy things.and we never get enough of you.never. So here are Daniyel milestone for the record:    Able to roll over and roll back       Currently trying to clap (I guess as he keep on pat his hands on to his stomach which is not comfortable for mummy to digest)   Not a crying baby. He is sooo good masyaAllah   Weight : 8.4 kilos height:69cm        Loves see people chatting Loves Daddy’s houlder soo much.he even sleep on it Still taking Anmum step 1 Baby will turn 6 month in 2 weeks time.mummy is quite excited to start with the solid food.yay!!! And not to forget..would like to wish you guys Selam...

NOTES: this is a personal review.lain baby lain kulitnya. masa sebelum Daniyel lahir,saya dah survey2 la nak beli untuk newborn jenama apa.lepas survey and tawakal saya pun memilih drypes.tapi sebab dapat hadiah pampers huggies satu pek yang besar,maka habiskan la dulu. jom kite check it our review 1) Huggies for newborn. quite good untuk Daniyel. sebab masa pantang baby popoo kerap so kerap la tukar jugak.dalam 2 jam sekali macam tu.masa dalam pantang baby takde masalah nappy rash.alhamdulillah.bau kencing pun tak kuat. 2) drypers Daniyel memang agak chubby compare to peer.or memang size drypers ni agak kecik?so peha our little D agak merah.saya tukar ke satu size lebih besar.pada anak saya nampak nya drypers ni selesa la agak nya. sebab memang xde nappy rash langsung and penah la jugak bocor kalau bagi baby tido mengiring.so stick to this sampai la baby berumur 4 bulan. 3) Diapex premium waduhhh..mummy memang suka experimental bab membeli tapi telah membuat langkah ya...

haiiii..rindu sangat nak berblog ni.sangat-sangat rindu.rindu serindu rindu nye laa tak tau nak cakap. tetapi semenjak dah beranak satu ni jadi satu mcm punye kering idea.sungguh. Si kecil sekarang dah makin comel bambam dan bijak.alhamdulillah.sekarang pun dah mula demam2 sebagai tanda membina sistem imunisasi.bagus tu bagus la tapi mak bapak opah nenek makcik semua risau sebab demam.Little D relax je boleh main2.so cooollll Boyyy!!! so ape cerite nye pasal nursery Daniyel? Hari Isnin lepas mummy nye bercuti sebab nak hantar anak ke nursery dengan perancangan dapat la cek keadaan anaknya di taska pada hari pertama.rasa mcm satu macam punye terluka .masa hantar tu punye la banyak baby. sedangkan owner taska tu cakap cuma ade 4 baby sahaja.sangat tertipu.rasa nak marah pagi2 buta tu. Maka terpaksa la jugak hantar sebab yela mcm mane nak kerja next next day tu kan.dengan berat hati nya letak Daniyel. Dan die mencebik.haihhh.mak ayah dah mcm tak keruan nak tinggal kan anak. K...

The tenses are still around and clingy until I have occasional breakout, sleepless nights , being over emotional and I dun feel the joy of getting up and get ready to office.in fact I force myself to.simply because I will send little D to the nearby nursery. I don’t what to say, how to feel , what to react. I cries and whining towards everything. Eventually I realizes Allah take charge of everything. As a mom I keep on praying for my little boy safety and happiness

Alhamdulillah.friday arrived eventually.what a long week I felt.sat for long time in the office but its only half pas eleven.not half past 5. I miss my baby soooo much that I loose count.like I miss him every single minute.or very heartbeat? Im collecting all the pieces of me and trying to pull myself ,filled up with strong and patient for little D. Desperately wants to see my baby.oh god I miss u like crazyyyyyy!!!

the tenses is everywhere now. with work and with the challenge to find the babysitter/taska for little D. mummy is under pressure here.wanna cries. i cried few nights becos thinking of separation with D is really really really hurt and throbbing pain in soul.i got carried wayy tooo much. not doing any good to me or to D. tommorow is my deadline or else grandma will take D back to Ipoh.thinking about this make me one sad gloomy mummy.how could i go on when my bundle of joy is not with me. cries and wails does not help, i know.

...anddddd im backkkkkkkkkkk at office. its no fun to left your little bubba and off to work.the feeling is indescribable,mix feeling.and how much i have to fight to wake up early despite of how sleepless i am. have to fight after 3 month lingering with baby and pyjamas until 9 o'clock.hehe i miss my baby. work?what is work?

i am clueless over the past few days as my maternity leaves come to an end. i want to look pretty on first day of course so i google on.. 1) how to be fit in a week 2) tips to live longer 3) how to get in shape  4) sales on blouse, shoes and bags pfffttttt finally neither catch my attention accept my 2 boys - F and of cos my little D. I love them soo muchh.i just wanna be a good mother and friend to them. sooo happy (belated) mother's day to me.  

Dalam keheningan malam ni lpas susu kan Daniyel.sejuk memalam hujan. Pantang sudah menemui silver lining nye.kalau pantang tiada had nya memang hati tak keruan memandang ke luar rumah setiap masa. Tapi mak ckp masih perlu pantang beberapa perkara.small matter mum! Jadi sebab mcm sgt happy dah abis pantang rase mcm tk tau nk type topik ape.hehe.ok la ape kata kite share tips pantang ok? 1- dalam pantang selalu jiwa kacau.mana kan suami jauh. Kalau dekat alhamdulillah.tapi memlm kesian nak kejut sebab esok nye dorg kene keje.kesian ngantok.mana kan nak bf anak,mana nak jaga luka.dgn tk ckup tido.mana satu nk utama.well u hv to act sellfish.please utamakan diri dlu.kalau xde orang tolong,cari jgk smpai ade.kalau trpakse kejut suami,kejut je.ni semua utk pastikan luka cepat baik.tak terbukak.kalau ape2 jadi dekat luka kan lg susah. Anak takpe.minum susu,berak,mandi, tido.hehe 2- breastfeed Siapa lah aku nk pongpangping pasal bf.aku sedar.tapi aku tgok kadang ibu2 bf ni bkn mcm nak bf...

Hampir semua org bertanya ape perasaan saya sekarang bile bergelar new mom. Rs sangat gembira sebenarnye dengan kelahiran D. He is an amazing baby.syukur sangat.senyuman,tangisan,jeritan,renungan anak membuatkan saya rasa hidup sangat bercahaya. D is my bintang hati. F adalah si matahari.wah kelassss kau bermetafora dalam pantang ni. Harini hari ke 34 berpantang. Daniyel mcm biase selalu berjga tepat pada waktunye untuk menyusu.what an intelligent baby.memang punctual tak pernah lewat.bagus dr kecik dah belajar menepati masa. Baby D suke senyum.wah mencair ok mak die memang tak jadi marah.senyuman die mcm ade satu punye kuasa ajaib yang memancar2. Mcm batu kripton tapi batu tu melemahkan superman.batu yang satu ni menambah kn tenaga.hehe. Sekarang berat Daniyel ialah 4.8 kg.amazing lagi anak aku tu.cepat btol membesar.dulu dalam perut hanyala sekecil mempelam (x igt buah ape sebenarnye).sekarang nak dukung pun lenguh. Baby D suke kalau orang bersembang dgn die. Die akan renung wa...

I felt guilty to Daniyel lately becos I failed to breastfeed him since day 2. He was crying all the day and I keep wondering why. After seeing the doctor only I knew I did not produce enough milk.seeing baby hungry n exhausted from crying added the guilty n pain. Becos I am mom,I decided to feed him with formula milk.if it would make him happy then why not?? Few days later,i keep on trying to pump n pump my breast.people around me added the presure and hurting my feeling.thats not only annoyed,but its hurt and mounting the guilt feeling again. My nipple sore,crack n has blister.i cried whenever I feed Daniyel.on early day of confinement, I couldnt sit properly and its truly hurt becos of my episotomy.thats another down factor. Up until today,people keep on asking me why-not-breastfeeding-annoying question.trust me as a mother I always wanted the best for my baby.and as human I also flawed and has a body to heal too. So everytime u passed by a mother,ecspecially the new mom,never ...